Peace

I did not like today's devotional.  Not because it was bad but because I was not prepared to hear it. But, I allowed myself to be still and listen and realize why. The story was about a grandmother praying for her granddaughter in ICU, and the LORD gave her the word "peace" through the pastor, then she was told to meditate on verses regarding peace. When her granddaughter passed away, a note with the same verse about peace the grandma had been meditating on, was tacked onto her gown. In the end, the grandma had peace. She knew her granddaughter was alright. I get it and hopefully never understand it fully but it caused a fearful instinct in me...

We are to pray His will be done. I know this. But after reading about the death of this child because of an accident, I thought about my teenager who isn't soon from driving. Something rose up in me and in no way was I ready to pray "His will be done." I realized later that it had been fear which overtook me, over something which is not even happening in my life. I really hate it when I give in to thinking every bad thing that happens to others will happen to me. Not that I believe it will, but I allow the thought to enter my mind and I begin to match up characters and other people and situations with me and my family and our life. If I let the similarities linger and think about it long enough, I could allow myself to believe these things will happen to me and my loved ones too. It's such a battle.  What this did today, in turn, was stiffened my heart in a way and blocked me from hearing God.  I could not focus to save my life afterward, and I thought about pompous things as my mind wondered.  Odds and end things like me being picked out of thousands of people in a conference with a popular speaker, having her signal me out and talk about how great I am.  Everything that came to mind was obnoxious and self-centered. Then I got it.  When fear rules your life it's impossible to put God first, and even hear Him clearly or focus on understanding His Word. It's the opposite of what He's trying to teach me; fear and love don't dwell side by side. 

At first I had not realized that I had suppressed fear, and acted out of this negative emotion.  I simply thought I was just having trouble focusing - but the unrest was apparent and I had to dig deeper. There is always a simple explanation but you can also always go deeper.  This time I listened and actually wanted to know instead if just saying so.  It's amazing how much we try to hide our fears and hold them down and suppress them. It's like if we just think about something else they will go away.  These thoughts may go away, but they come back.We may even think it's no big deal, afraid to deal with the fear for the fear of what happens next. By exposing the fear and letting it go, allowing Love to tell us the truth, we see for ourselves how stupid it is to believe lies and are once again Kingdom focused.  The next time the thoughts arise, we smell the lies cooking from afar off, know how to handle them and not have to feel anxious and out of control. It is so much better to deal with fear when it arises then save it for later.  Once exposed, fear begins to lose its power over us. That's hopeful.

For example, have you ever felt afraid to ask God what He would have you do because you're afraid you wont want to do it?  Instead of tackling the fear - the lies that it's too hard or too much, or not fair, etc. - we try to bypass the meeting with God altogether, walking around the mountain over and over again.  Eventually we have to deal with it, and if I have learned anything - It's ALWAYS best to deal with the fear (or any issue at hand) right away.  Just get it resolved as fast as you can. You are stronger than you think.

America

Today's devotional is about praying for our country and its leaders.  I have to say I was not sure who our city and county and even state representatives were.  I didn't know - let me put it that way.  Didn't have a clue. But when it looked it up on the chamber of commerce page, I was so excited to see names which I did know. People like: Kay Bailey Hutchison, Michael Burgess, John Cornyn, and Kay Granger who have helped us so much during the immigration trails.  Then it hit home.  Not only do I owe thanks, but know these people could be a light using their platforms.  I MUST pray! The words of a righteous avail much and since I know I am righteous in Him, I know my prayer is heard and answered according to His will.  But is it His will this Nation prosper?  Do I pray just in case it is, so my spoken word in faith creates changes, or can I be certain of His will?

When in doubt - go to His Word. I did. I remember a few years ago, before all the immigration ordeals (by the way - I'm trying to finish that blog too about our immigration process; it's on here and called "My Fight With Acceptance.").  the LORD reminded me of a scripture verse He had given me in the beginning of my new life.  It is famous one found on coffee mugs and wall art, from Jeremiah 29:11, where the LORD promises a good future and a hope to His people in captivity in Babylon. At the time, I still held resentment towards this country because no matter what, we could not get our status changed to legal for over twenty years.  I received this verse as my own when people told me to believe it was for me but was not aware of its origin, or at least I never thought about it much.  Just like the LORD gave me a burden and love I cannot explain for Israel, for to the best of my knowledge I am not Jewish (but secretly hope I am), the LORD gave me a burden and a love for America. He took me back to what He told the captives in chapter 29 before He promised them good:

"This is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon:  “Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce.  Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.”Jeremiah 29:4-7

I realized I have been critical of this nation and almost secretly wanting judgement or revenge for the treatment my family has received.  Just your teenage-type rebellion, but sadly most people live with this anger towards something, some place or someone well past their teenage years. I did. I held a grudge against the LORD's people once (because "why is Israel the chosen one? Why are the Jews so special and not Americans for instance?") and the LORD lifted the veil that covered my eyes and I saw the heart of God and His love for Israel in such a new way. I have never been the same since regarding Israel.  I cry out to God for the peace of Jerusalem and His people to know their Messiah.  So it was on this no particular day that the LORD showed me that I ought to pray for America and opened my heart for me to see my motives. I repented and asked His forgiveness and received this country as my own like I have been wanting it to be for so long.  Although I saw it as my Babylon at the time, the LORD placed a new love in me for America and I began to pray.  I realized that if God wanted His people to pray for this godless place Babylon, and for its prosperity, how much more does He want us to pray for this "one nation under God!!!"  How much more should I be thankful and feel blessed that I have gotten the opportunity to live in the best nation in the world for so long - even if not ideally - as the statistics show - at our worst poverty we lived like kings in most parts of the world.  It took some freedom ministry, an autobiography and lots of time with God to get me in a place of complete grace.  That a week after I ended my life story in my book, the immigration trials began, but I held no unforgiveness, no contempt, no anger against this country.  This I can assure you was the grace of God and His hand in my life. I'm certainly not this good to avoid feeling resentment, but His supernatural strength withheld me.

It was during this time that I received assurance what God's will is for this country - in His Word. 

“If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” 2 Chronicles 7:14

"Fields Of Faith," Fall 2011 - local youth at Dragon Stadium - seeking His face

He wants to heal this country and make it an example for the world once again - to be the great and mighty "One Nation Under God With Liberty and Justice For ALL!" He gave me the grace to not look to myself or even my family but to this country as a whole and eventually the entire world which relies so much on us.  He humbled me and I prayed. I prayed for His will no matter what because I knew it was best.  He supernaturally ordained meetings and changed the hearts of people, for my sister and I. I believe there is more to it, but only time will tell. It certainly is the LORD's will that this nation prospers so much more than it was just His will for Babylon to prosper.  

If we can only humble ourselves and forget about ourselves (as I wrote before, don't fall into that trap as Satan did because - it does not turn out good), if we an forget about what's "owed" to us (nothing! as a matter of fact we had a debt eternity isn't long enough to repay - let's not be like the unmerciful servant in Matthew 18:23-25) if we seek Him FIRST, which will in turn cause us to turn from our wicked ways - the LORD WILL HEAR us, forgive us individually - which will make a whole lotta citizens on board with His will - and because of that He will heal our land so that we may be an example to the dying world.. If the LORD would have spared Sodom for the sake of ten righteous - would He not hear our pleas as He did Abraham?  The deal was that Abraham believed God and He declared him righteous. If we believe Him, and believe He has already judged us righteous, our prayers will avail much, too.  Our faith plays a huge part and I certainly believe there are many, many thousands righteous in the US - we have to accept the fact that we are forgiven, stop judging ourselves as unrighteous and let the merciful, good and rightful Judge talk. Once we believe who we really are and accept our authority in Jesus, let's SPEAK OUT! Let's voice what the majority of this country wants but are afraid to speak up.  Let's be the leaders, strong and courageous! Let your voice be heard! Shout from the rooftops and be bold as lions!

Thankfulness

In today's devotion we explore the importance of praising God and worshiping Him before prayer.  I am still trying to learn this myself, as I praise when I'm prompted and I pray as I want to talk throughout the day, knowing He is with me and listening; or in response to something the LORD speaks to me.  This year I hope to purposefully and regularly begin praying for others though, and for our nation and the world, really.  Not once in a while and as I feel lead, although I still intend to pray like this - but each and every day specifically and routinely.  Like having an exercise schedule, I would like to pray P90X-style.  But on praise...


If I didn't know God had been active in my life, that He had anything to do with the way my life has gone, or thought He wasn't really responsible for blessings in my life, then why would I want to thank Him? If I did pray thanks, it would feel awkward and I would be faking it or doing it as a gamble - to see what happens. Maybe out of obligation or because it sounds nice and dandy.  Although when we are starting out or have nothing else to say it's better than nothing, and thanking God can certainly lead us into truth and worship, I want to talk about more than this. The deeper side of thanksgiving.  Sort of like the next level down. The difference between the quick "thanks," "bless you," or even "I love you," to those same words spoken to you when you know in your inner most being - they mean it. You can see it in their eyes.

I believe in order to thank God sincerely we first must believe He exists, and He is who He says He is.  Then we must believe in His presence in our life, His mercy and goodness, His love and the fact that He is for us. In this we trust Him and all that happens in our life as His perfect will for us. Even out of the bad things, good will come out.  We must stop judging ourselves and others because this is futile. If we are in Christ, He has already taken the judgment for us and through His sacrifice we are made righteous. Not by works - that's why we should not spend time worrying if we're doing things right or stress over how good of a Christian we are. We are holy and blameless in His sight. This should give us enough reason to praise and be free from condemnation.(a must read "How to Stop the Pain" by James Richards explores judgement like I've never seen it - a life-changer)

Through experiencing God and knowing His love, knowing our role as His beloved child in whom He is well pleased, and actually understanding how much He longs to interact with us ans speak with us, we respond.  We will respond in praise, we will respond in love, we will respond in worship and trust. We wont be able to help it. And it will be real and sincere. And we will know it is. Just like we know when we give a compliment, if we really mean it or not.  You know - "O love your hair" (not... but you still smile and try to go through with it, pointing out why you like it, maybe even talk yourself into thinking it's not that bad).  BE REAL! That's what I want. To be so transparent that people see right through me and what they see is likable. To love others that much and see them from the eyes of heaven.

Anyway - why praise?  Why does God want so much praise?  Why does He insist we give Him glory and worship Him - sounds kind of stuck-up.  Why would He make all of us just so we praise Him - talk about being full of Himself.  But when I look at it logically, it all makes sense.  God does not need us to praise Him - He just knows that's what we need because He created us that way. Why? Because we are made in His image;  we are instruments of praise but it has to be directed towards something or someone or it's not praise at all.  When we try to get glory for ourselves we get consumed with ourselves, we become jealous and greedy and end up like Satan. Bad deal. God knows this so He is constantly trying to get us to get our minds off of us - so then and only then we can experience the true life He is offering. He knows He is the only one good enough (because He's God - hello!) to take the praise and it not go to His head. He knows He is the only one who wont misuse it. So if we turn our praise to Him, want His glory instead of ours - then we are free of temptation that lead Satan away from God, and God is big enough to handle it.  God wants us to be with Him forever and even to be in close relationship here on Earth.  This is why it is important to Him that we are free from temptation to get glory for ourselves, but free to actually be ourselves and achieve our destiny!  He wants the best for us! There is no other way or He would have told us in His Word.  Again, like in everything else I'm finding out - He asked us to praise Him for our benefit. It's all for us, because He loves us.  All of us.

In conclusion, when we begin prayer with praise towards God, we are less likely to be consumed with us as we pray.  We will see our situation in the light of heaven and know He is in control. We wont be doing the me, me, me bit but may actually think and use wisdom to pray in a way it even will surprise us.  It will open doors for us to pray the will of God, hear Him more clearly and receive revelation and blessing. God first.

Use your gifts!

Hope

Day 2 and a familiar topic: "The Lord's Prayer." The verse that I keep adjoining to the model prayer in the book of Matthew or Luke is from Isaiah: "See, I'm doing a new thing!" I suppose the entire chapter 43 of Isaiah makes sense concerning what the LORD is about to do. Also I'm able to receive the promises found at the beginning of Chapter 61 - the famous "beauty for ashes" chapter - for the first time as well. 2012 must be an exciting year! So in reading these chapters out of Isaiah and going back to the Lord's prayer - I have a few nuggets I found, I'd like to share...

What's new about the Lord's prayer? If the LORD is about to do a new thing, and we are going to receive a double portion in our land and joy, joy, joy, (among many other blessings Jesus is waiting to give) then what's the appropriate response? Praise. Thanking Him by faith for what He's about to do, trusting He has our best in mind and certainly a good future planned out for us. He will fulfill His purpose in us because of His love.  If we lived by constantly trusting God and giving Him thanks in ALL things, then the Lord's prayer would be a new thing because we would view it differently.

I love chapter 6 in Matthew. It's most familiar because of the Lord's prayer, yet there is so much tied into it as well.  After all, Jesus followed the Lord's prayer by a call for us to live a life of love, keeping in mind His will:
-To forgive easily
-To be intimate with God and even fast in secret
-To focus on people and relationships, character and virtues, instead of storing up possessions and building bank accounts, thinking that's what matters
-To be generous and giving and not stingy and greedy
-To use money like we are lords over it, and not allow it to be an idol, or love it as a false lord over us
-To not worry, especially over what we eat, drink, or even wear
-To trust God and seek His Kingdom and His righteousness first (His will on earth as it is in heaven)
-To take one day at a time.

It seems like some plain instructions may be a key to a closer relationship with our Father. If we lived a life like this, then the Lord's prayer would mean so much more. It is broken down very well in the devotional and here is the link:   http://injesusname.gatewaypeople.com/content/our-prayer I'd like to summarize it like this:
-We understand God is holy and comes first
-We speak in authority that His will be done, as the Kingdom of Heaven comes to earth through us
-In understanding that "The Kingdom of Heaven" is now displayed (or as Alan Smith puts it in his book, Unveiled, "heaven and earth intersect through us") in us instead of the Tabernacle or the Temple, we ask our Father to supply our daily needs to sustain us here on earth so that we may represent better. We ask for that daily bread.  It's necessary for living.
-We know that we must repent and forgive those who have sinned against us in order that we may have a more clear understanding of His will, hear Him better and not have our minds clouded with unnecessary torture which unforgiveness brings
-We ask He deliver us from evil around us and not lead us into anything that is not His perfect will for us, trusting He knows best (and then we live in security that He directs the steps of the righteous, and as His righteous ones, we know each step is ordained by Him - we're right where we need to be).
-And as always, knowing it is His Kingdom, and we are empowered by His Spirit so that we may portray His glory on earth through these earthen vessels.

It is indeed a prayer for us. Back in the day - someone should have labeled it "Our Prayer" like it is mentioned in the devotional.

I may be a bit biased, but I cannot put aside how much my life verse  - Matthew 6:33 - is intertwined here. If we seek Him first - His Kingdom to be represented on earth through us, and for us to be secure in how righteous we are and how every promise is "yes" and "amen" - then it's easy and natural to pray like this model prayer!  He is working all things for our good even if it doesn't seem like it. Build faith in this truth by talking with God and obeying His word.

"In my faithfulness I will reward my people
   and make an everlasting covenant with them.
 Their descendants will be known among the nations
   and their offspring among the peoples.
All who see them will acknowledge
   that they are a people the LORD has blessed.” 

Isaiah 61:8b-9

Bottom line - Believe God. Experience Him and His will by keeping in constant prayer. And never forget to thank Him, praise Him and show your appreciation.  He should be first in all things - and we must seek Him first.

I have thought about taking the "midnight train going anywhere," but when I prayed His will be done - He gave me the desires of my heart.

Confidence

It's day 1 in our "In Jesus' Name" devotional, and as I listen to His voice, not only do I understand specific instructions for me, and selective words, but an entire topic or idea came to my mind with examples and all... so here it is - the beginning of this 28-day journey. The message of the verses for study was this: Trust God always, pray always, thank Him always no matter what happens - (because we trust Him and know He is in control, so whatever happens is being handled and worked out for our good - no need to worry) - in this- our confidence will grow and our relationship will be so intimate and "tight" that what we ask for it will be done.  (Obviously if we are walking close with the Almighty, we wont ask for immoral situations - we will ask according to His will, since we will know remarkable secrets God is planning on doing). but... forgive the grammar - it's late.

Prayer boosts confidence. But not any ole' prayer, which is simply recited or said begrudgingly and out of obligation. I mean sincerely talking to your Father. Like - as you would an earthly father whom you are very close to, look up to, and can say anything to. Most of us have not experienced this closeness with our dads here, so it's hard for us to fully trust God and rely on His faithfulness and unfailing love.  He wont ever leave or forsake us, no matter what. He is always there, and waiting for us to come back to Him so He can throw us a party! He waits and longs for His kids to return home.


The more I talk to God, and listen to Him speak to me, - as with any relationship - the closer we are.  The more I thank Him for everything and trust He is active and present in my life at any moment, the more my confidence in my identity grows and what my role is.  I am a child of the Most High God. The Creator of heavens and earth.  There is nothing too hard for Him and nothing good He wants to withhold from me.  The more confident I am, the more I will ask in faith and know it will be done.

"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." (Hebrews 11:6)

Imagine this: I walk down the street and up to a stranger, and precede to ask him to help me, to stop and listen to my troubles with my relatives over lunch, and give me a lift and some cash. If I was honest with myself, I would come to understand that I really do not believe anyone would do this for me. It would be like a 50/50 or more like 80/20 gamble.  I do not have enough faith that someone would do this first of all, and by the time I got myself enough confidence to ask, I would have none left, that they would actually do all this for me without knowing me.  If it happens so that in the one-in-a-thousand chance the person does do all this for me, I will be so happy, ecstatic really and overjoyed.  If not, then I would be hurt and thoughts like this would overwhelm me: "no one understands me," I can't get anyone to listen to me," "why would anyone help someone like me..." you get the picture.  Bottom line is that I would lose hope and feel less confident and significant. Like a salesperson right? You get about 1 out of ten sales, right? should prayer life be like this? Should we expect the LORD to answer us one out of ten times - never knowing which one time that would be? NO! He longs to talk to us and for a deep and meaningful relationship with us.


I know this though - If I walked up to my husband Daniel, and asked him this, that he would do all he could to help me.  Because he loves me. And I expect him to help me in all these ways because I know he loves me, and I know he knows I love him back. And how much more does our Father in Heaven love us and has no time restrictions or a job to go to that may interfere with my request! He is waiting to be with me! Always!  It's not about meeting my needs, it's about the quality time spent together.  Like when you are head over heels for someone, they could ask you to change a tire, eat smelly foods, or see a movie you loathe, but you wouldn't mind since all you want to do is be with that person and are not concerned about in what manner.  It's the time spent together that matters. We may gain all the wealth in the world, but to my knowledge, we will not be able to buy more lifetime.  Time is indeed our most precious resource.  The more time you spend with God and in His word, the closer you will be with Him. It's not rocket science.

And, it's not like God is waiting to answer my prayer if I act first and talk to Him more. It's not for Him but for me. He's trying to talk to me all the time; He is always there. Even when I am not faithful, He is. It is my faith that will grow the more time I spend with Him.  And the only thing that counts is faith expressed though love. So, He is waiting to answer me, to bless me and to keep me - to use me to bring His Kingdom on earth as it is in heaven.  But my faith will activate the blessings. I will actually receive what He has been trying to give me all along because I will expect it. (And not to mention to hear it directly from Him who gives every good thing, and trust He will do as He said).

This is how the world will know I belong to Him -  I act in love.  I must grow my faith by thanking Him in all things, and praying continuously because I am trusting Him.  Then, it is my confidence that will boost in who I am and who He is.  It is my outlook on life that will change when I learn to trust Him and His ways.  It is my life that will take a positive turn and escape the torture of trying to be good and do the right things.  I will find freedom. Why? Because His Spirit is with me.  His grace overwhelms me. His love rules me.

Now why didn't I view prayer like this last year?