Jesus

In Jesus' Name I pray, amen.  So easy to say and so common, almost. Why have we reduced His power - this power that comes through His Name, because of repetition and tradition?  Why is it common to say but hard to believe? We think (or at least I have) if we just add that phrase at the end of our prayers, we have completed it somehow and done our duty.  But what if it's so much more? What if the power of this name - Jesus- is much more? What if He is so much more?

I have struggled a lot through the years with faith.  I think the worst part of it is that I have placed the faith on me.  Even when I pray for more faith and to change my unbelief, I am wanting something to change in me. I am still the focus.  If I just receive that I already have the measure of faith I've already been given and that's active in me - and that The Holy Spirit gave me a special kind of faith as well (especially in critical times), I would never have to pray for more faith. If I lacked belief, I would just ask Jesus to help my unbelief, knowing I cannot do it on my own. Not like I have done in the past - prayed for help in my unbelief and then set out to pray, read, go join a study, watch or listen to some sermons and throw in some worship. Then because I did this - I should have more faith, right? I have practiced His presence. No - I already possessed all the faith before. I just did not know how to exercise it. I left a part for me to play.  But if I just believe God - that HE IS FAITHFUL, then He credits this to me as righteousness.  I am not to try to have more faith, but believe that I already have all I need, along with every spiritual blessing in Christ. Including faith.  It's belief that He is faithful. Belief that He is able. Belief that He is willing. Belief that He wants to. Belief that He can. Belief that He wont wait. Belief that He is for me.  Then when I pray for Him to help my unbelief, it's actually to believe that HE CAN and He will, and not me.

Whether belief and faith are one in the same - I have not fully researched - but I know in the Christian circles, they are not. At least the words we use behind what we do, do not equal to what God has intended. We use faith too nonchalantly; and it's also one of those words that has many, many meanings, in many, many "faiths" of the world.  In the dictionary definitions, I like that faith is a complete trust. But then, as I read on, some of the other definitions, ones I think a lot of the world has adapted instead are: allegiance to duty, or a person, sincerity of intentions, belief in something for which there is NO proof, beliefs in the traditional doctrines of religion, etc.  Sounds uncertain, conditional, and like there is some work/duty required on my part.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. (Hebrews 11:1)

Reading the Lexicon (blueletterbible.org) and translating faith from this verse into the Greek we get something like this: 

1) conviction of the truth of anything, belief; in the NT of a conviction or belief respecting man's relationship to God and divine things, generally with the included idea of trust and holy fervour born of faith and joined with it

a) relating to God

1) the conviction that God exists and is the creator and ruler of all things, the provider and bestower of eternal salvation through Christ

b) relating to Christ

1) a strong and welcome conviction or belief that Jesus is the Messiah, through whom we obtain eternal salvation in the kingdom of God

c) the religious beliefs of Christians

d) belief with the predominate idea of trust (or confidence) whether in God or in Christ, springing from faith in the same

2) fidelity, faithfulness

a) the character of one who can be relied on

Now: I looked up dictionary definitions of belief:  state of mind where confidence or trust is placed on some person or thing; conviction of the truth of some statement or the reality of some being or phenomenon especially when based on examination of evidence!!!!!

Last time I checked, if you have evidence - there is no need for faith. And if the original text meant for faith and belief to be synonyms, we have once again thwarted this to fit our lifestyles and our own lack of faith. 


In the Lexicon and the original Greek, the word "belief" has identical meaning and definitions as previously shown describing faith in the same Lexicon. It seems, they started out as the same but we have changed the meanings of these two words over time and translations. 


Now - back to the Name above all names: relationship comes first. If I use the bank card in my husband's name, its because I know I am authorized by him, and he wont mind.  I'm not saying I am Daniel, but I am taking care of business and personal affairs as his wife.  As if he placed a signet ring on my hand and allowed me to rule as he would. (ha - Dan did) If I sign a card, send wishes over e-mail or pay bills in his name, I do this because I know I am authorized by him to speak on His behalf as long as I am staying in his will (meaning I'm using my head and allowing to be guided into righteousness and not signing off his retirement to a stranger without talking with him first, not including curses against anyone on his behalf, or charging thousands of dollars for a dress I plan on wearing to a baby shower, etc.). Knowing Daniel so well, I know what would push the envelope and what things I do need to discuss with him first. Most of what I do in his name and on his behalf, I am sure is fine, because I know him and his will. I'm simply being his other half and enjoying the privledges and authority.


Now, the same can be said about Jesus. If we know Him intimately and know His will, we are free to do 90% of the work simply by exercising this faith in us and belief that He would want us to do this; because He said to seek first he Kingdom of God and we would be bringing this Kingdom on earth as it is in heaven. For the other 10% of the time, we will feel uneasy or unsure, and that nudge by His Spirit will lead us to ask Him what to do.  We should seek His perfect will, and fast, pray or whatever we feel lead to do in order to bring about His will.  I think the percentages may vary through time, but mostly we should go about our Father's business without fear or holding back. He has placed His seal in us. We are His. 


First belief He exists, and He rewards those who earnestly seek Him. Then relationship and intimate knowledge that I am rewarded by having all authority through Him.  "Like, my Daddy owns all this and all power is His - I'm praying all sickness go away in Jesus Name, and so be it."  Something like that. :) What we're missing is not more faith, but the knowledge of Him. We are settling for works instead of an intimate relationship with Him through which we will be assured of who He is and who we are. Without doubt. Without fear or apprehension. The more I know Him and the more we spend time together, just like a marriage - I will be more secure and free to exercise the authority of a wife. But like in a marriage, I must continue working on it, not expect to get to a victory point and then - "we have the best marriage, and I'm going off to act as your wife but I don't plan on spending more time with You. Marriage is until death do you part. Until I die from this earth, I want to serve my Eternal Husband, and act like I belong to Him. 

 If I may just have the belief that my faith is even as small as a mustard seed, and that instead of crying out and whining "why," I step out in authority and power of the Holy Spirit. 

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. – John 3:16 

Battle

Love is a battlefield, your mind is a battlefield, and there are so many other areas in life that we talk about as being the grounds for war. But, spiritual warfare is something that engages all of you, knowingly or not.  I love the analogy of the moose preparing for battle in the off-season by eating right and growing their antlers so that when they do fight, the one who wins is the moose who took care of himself the best in preparation.  I agree with this principle and know for myself that my greatest battles have been won in the comfort of my own home, or car. And I was alone with Jesus only. I have been delivered from many things in the presence of pastors and leaders, but those were usually stepping stones and much smaller battles comparing to the great wars I fought in my weakest moments. I think it was certainly planned by my enemy for me to fall because the attacks did come when I was lonely, and already down.  It was in these times the fight to believe Jesus saves, was the most prevalent. The fight was for my faith in Him.  Then when the outwardly physical junk piled up and circumstances seemed bleak at best, my strength was already established in Him and I had nothing to fear - I knew it would be okay and He had His best in mind for me. He had it.  

I remember the time Pastor Robert uncovered  birds in the bible stand for demons... I always hated birds and have been even scared of them (I think because my mom allowed me to see the Alfred Hitchcock movie about them when I was young).  But this insight really got me thinking in so many ways. For example, have you ever heard of the sayings "the little bird told me," or "the little bird carried the news?"  I'm convinced that "little birds" of the air - in the spiritual - do fly around gathering information, curses and accusations.  I believe the voices we hear so often are indeed these creatures going about their business to steal, kill and destroy as they are told by the one they serve. It is in our homes, when we are alone and vulnerable that we say the strangest things and believe the lies we hear.  We may be looking at a photo or a video of someone and hear a negative remark and become caught in a unending web of lies and deceit.  When we dare to judge others, their motives and their actions as only God can, we invite the birds in.

Furthermore, in your bedchamber do not curse a king, and in your sleeping rooms do not curse a rich man, for a bird of the heavens will carry the sound and the winged creature will make the matter known. Eccl.10:20


These private battles are many and they repeat often.  When we allow ourselves to be defeated in these battles, the wars in our circumstances are next to impossible. I get why we should always take our thoughts captive to the mind of Christ.  Not doing so leaves us to our own interpretations of what the birdies tell us, or even what we come up on our own without any help from the enemy. I think about how hard the battles have been and how at the moments after my greatest trials - I was most susceptible for great deception, and more vulnerable for negative seeds to be planted.  On my own I finally walk upright because I have won, knowing I can barely stand up because I am so bruised and beaten. But then - the enemy knocks me down again, using this strategic time to implant more lies and mask them as truth.

I just heard this in a sermon too (Pastor Morris I think) - talking about how Eve heard truth from God but disregarded it to believe the serpent. She had a choice to trust God, yet instead she trusted the devil. She heard God's voice but it wasn't enough, because she was more mesmerized by a talking snake to believe it! DUH! Call it the forbidden, illegal, or prohibited - for some stupid reason these words get our curiosity even today, and we fall into traps daily because we think we're missing out on something better or more fun. We sneak around, try illegal substances, or even as dumb as leave our phone on, when the sign clearly says to turn it off.  We sneak drinks, snacks and cameras in places we shouldn't, just to see what happens and to maybe get some short-lived satisfaction and get away with breaking the law.  As little as these things may seem, even the smallest act of disobedience in order to exercise our own wills, is the same as eating of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.  we do what we want and pay later. (just reminded me of the "no-wait," "I deserve it," "what would it hurt," and "I'll deal with the consequences later," principle we practice in using our credit cards). The more we eat off the wrong tree, the harder our life is. The more we eat of the Tree of Life, the Holy Spirit which is in us, and allow the Resurrection and the Life to direct us, the more freedom we experience.  I want to live in the garden of Eden and obey God because I know His will for me is good. He never meant for Eve to experience death, and the roots of evil - He wanted her to live forever in bliss He created for her.  Disobeying the voice of His Spirit, and His guidance, only leads me to a life of poverty and frustration. I want to live as He created me to, not as I think best - because even my best is nowhere close to what He has in mind for me.  I can only experience true joy by relying on Him and trusting my Savior!

And so, instead of listening to the "little birds of the air" I will trust my Creator and listen to His voice.  LORD, help me discern Your voice from the enemy's each time so that I know the path to righteousness which is only through You! 

Dreams

It is so hard for me to live moment by moment. I know I should and it is the best plan for me and my well being, but I cannot seem to get this discipline down. It drives me nuts because I don't drive it!!!  Those times when I pause time by my own doing, I experience miracles, I hear God's voice and I have peace and joy. No wonder God begs us to be still and know Him! If I understood that even the times when I am doing dishes and laundry or playing Mario with my son all have their place in my life - I would not do these begrudgingly or in a hurry while praying for bigger and greater things to come about!  LORD - use me - I pray! But as I pray I forget that all I do should be as unto Him. Even vacuuming or organizing for no reason but to get more organized.  I get bugged when my house is messy because I know I will have to clean it.  And I don't want to.  I want to do "greater things..."

And so it goes - day in and day out and the commands of Jesus in the book of Matthew, where He advises me to live each day without worry for the future, just disappear.  I am bogged down with cleaning, cooking, laundry, taking care of kids, their grades and their future, their relationships and my own, and I worry about having enough money int he future to pay off bills and save for college and retirement. What do I gain by this mom-philosophy but no more days to my life?  I am told to not worry a dozen times, but I still do - even though I tell myself it's not worry but practical observations and planning.  It's not.

To plan for the future - money wise - is simple: tithe, give, pay bills on time, pay debts off, live below your means, etc. We know the drill. As we do these each day, the LORD will certainly provide for our future. It's pretty simple. To plan for simplicity in life - prioritize my time, get rid of things which are not productive in my life in this season, organize my house, set time to clean and do it. All these are simple tasks that I know to do, yet cannot get my mind to really get because I keep involving emotion into it.  My house is not messy because the LORD did not fill me with energy to clean it and so I lay depressed wondering why? My check bounces not because the LORD failed to provide and lead me to despair, but because I did not budget wisely.  I have come to realize that much of the depression and anxiety that has plagued my life had little to do with the LORD, but all to do with me making poor choices and experiencing appropriate consequences. Not because He is punishing me, but because there are laws and rules by which I must abide in order to experience the fullness in life.  (These blessings do not rely on me doing things for God, I do these because I want to).  I am free to partake of the biggest and best blessings this world has to offer and the LORD is waiting to bless me - I just need to stop waiting on Him to pour it out - but reach out and receive it! I am to step into the Red Sea of faith and receive deliverance from everything I am already delivered from!  My life should be full of joy and peace because every step I take is in tune with His will for my life because I am His righteousness!  No worry. No fret. Just doing the things in life I know to do as the LORD was in flesh watching me every step of the way!  And in all things I will find joy and peace and blessing!  Go by the wind of His breath! The Holy Spirit - my best friend and a motherly influence like no other!

My dreams are big because God has planted them in me.  My dreams are so much different than the circumstances I live in now and so it is hard for me to muster up the seed of faith day in and day out. But I press forward to reach the goal. I know with every day I am closer to my dreams. I just pray that the time in between - until I reach my dreams - are wisely spent in truth and love.  I pray my life depicts one of a joyous woman of God; a life that can be talked about like the one of the wife and mother in Proverbs 31.  I pray that I stop mumbling and complaining during the time of wait about how I am not living my dreams yet - but move forward with love knowing I am closer now...

Prayer

Corporate prayer sounds so, so corporate...  But nevertheless, it is an important and very powerful time in our life when heaven and earth unite and worship on the same level. The word "corporate" may be a little intimidating at first, but it's just the best word we have to describe an entire group of believers coming together and seeking the same purpose.  I have witnessed this, time and time again at Gateway Church, and I cannot emphasize the importance of engaging during these very meaningful endeavors.  Whether at Habitation services, or the First Conferences, the PINK women's conference or the men's Alpha Summit - each specific engagement is designed to help stimulate our minds and hearts into receiving from God and hearing specifically what His will for our lives is.  I will share a few of these great momentous times in my life:


One of my favorite moments was during a time of worship at a conference at Gateway - We were seeking to hear from God and to be still in His presence. I engaged fully, as I honestly wish I did more often, and saw Jesus with my spiritual eyes. He was on stage and singing to me, looked like he had a guitar in his hands even, but don't quote me on this I cannot remember. But anyway, He was rocking out to this song and walked to the end of the stage, and sang right to me. Now I know many singers do this and it means nothing more than a marketing ploy, but this was directly to me and I knew in my deepest being it was FOR me. The funny thing is that Dan has been in bands and performed many times on stage at clubs and such, and I always had this longing for him to single me out and sing a verse to me, or call me out as his and say something cute about me in front of the entire crowd. I even fantasized about this when he lead worship, knowing He was singing to the LORD, but I still wanted to be acknowledged as his. And when I saw Jesus like this, I blushed like everyone was watching. I looked around to see who all was looking and they all had their eyes on the stage. I looked at Him shyly and found myself acting like a giggly school-girl in pig-tails. I listened but half-not. I payed attention - but was too bashful to keep my eyes straight on Him.  I found myself saying things like, " Seriously," "I don't believe this," and "okay, okay," implying that's enough, although I sooo did not mean it. It was pretty cool, and I will always remember the lengths my Beloved will go through to make sure I know He hears me and He loves me - but most importantly to me, that I will always be His girl.

I remember one time during an Encounter service at the old Southlake building of Gateway Church - we met to spend an evening engaging in different forms of worshiping God.  It was one of my favorites - ever! It entailed many things, such as everyone praying at the same time aloud. After about a minute, it seemed like everyone was praying the same exact thing and we were all on the same page - it sounded magical.  Then there was a time when just the musicians took off on the guitar and drums and bolted out amazing solos like I remember in the old band days.  The sounds were like those of heaven even though it was heavy electric instruments and most people seem to liken harps and flutes with the soft sound of heaven. NOT!  My favorite was when everyone rushed the stage like at a concert to petition before God and repent.  There was much deliverance and special encounters. But, perhaps the most like Kingdom of Heaven was when we all began singing to God - each our own tune and song that happened to be on our minds. At first it was a hodge-podge of tone-deaf individuals trying to sing half-memorized versions of their favorite song. But then something so extraordinary happened that I cannot do it justice to try to explain it.  You had to be there to experience the transformation which took place and the way the auditorium altered its voice: I stopped for a bit and sang lightly because I just could not believe my ears. The mess of voices which I heard just moments ago was now a PERFECT harmony of angelic sounds singing as in unison the same heavenly song. It was trippy. It just was. I looked around and tried to tune in to my neighbor's song and compare it to that of the people behind us - but I could not.  They were all singing the same chorus, a beautiful timely melody that I could not help but join in to! AMAZING!

There were also the worship nights at which we recorded the songs for the new coming worship CD's. If this ever happens again, I encourage all to go and be a part of this awesome time!  The first recording for "Wake Up the World," the LORD found me among all the people in the crowd and called me by a new name.  I had been asking for a name change like Jacob - for a while! And this night He called me out and answered my request in a most personal way. He called me Beautiful. Although I did not feel like it, I took Him at His word. If He said so, then I must be. At the second worship recording, I was actually in the choir with Dan and Claudia, our oldest daughter.  It was the very best serving experience I have been involved in at Gateway so far.  The LORD used Pastor Robert during the intermission to speak directly to me about rejecting the Spirit of Mammon. It started a chain-reaction of events, I had thought was over by this time. A new perspective and a new level of discerning and learning began.

For one more example I'd like to recall a time during the monthly Habitation services, which are corporate worship services just like the Encounter ones were in the previous building. I had been burdened by the world, and the end of it.  Movies like 2012, Wall-E, The Book Of Eli, reminded me of what I had heard about the media getting the population accustomed to what's about to become and be the norm.  I had been watching some disturbing conspiracy theory shows with Jesse Ventura my parents and friends watch.  I was so saddened for this earth and could not imagine the decay of it.  I was so sad with the fact that I had not yet been able to travel the world because of immigration reasons, and have not seen all this beauty I marvel at in photos and movies. I was completely heartbroken. And so I came to the service to pray.  I prayed for the world and for it not to end in 2012.  I asked God to prolong His sentence. I asked to experience the beauty and for my kids to be able to as well.  I cried bitterly for this planet and saw in my mind every detail of nature and the beauty of His creation, we have neglected throughout the years.  I wanted more time.  I believe God granted me my request.  I have been at peace about it since!

Belief

Praying God’s Word… today’s topic and it brings memories of a summer bible study group I taught using this very book by Beth Moore. There was much deliverance and freedom though our time together and it made a huge impact in my life. The main thing I struggled with though, was not God’s Word, but the lined out model of praying  it: it seemed too religious for me. When I saw the many verses to pray for each issue in our lives, it looked like a scripted prayer guide that I found very “old world religion.” I don’t know but it reminded me of the Catholic prayers – one for each concern in our lives. I’ve seen many books like this since, where you turn to the topic regarding your need and just pray aloud the words on the page, including the bible verses. It seemed too perfected to be real to me.  The books all seemed too impersonal and the prayers not like prayers at all. They weren’t “me” and the prayers weren’t reflecting my heart and how I would speak to God. I grew weary of this method of praying and honestly have been rejecting it since.  

 And then the LORD spoke to me:  When you don’t believe it’s from Me, It’s easy to reject it. 

I think I can tackle this from two different perspectives.

First, from someone who does not yet trust in Christ:  Belief comes first.  If someone does not believe God actually exists, does what He says, that His Word is true to every letter, that He is for us and not against us, that through Jesus we no longer are to expect punishment but receive it as a gift of grace because He is good, that He is not the author of the evil in the world and just "lets bad things happen," but desperately wants us to bring the perfection of heaven on earth, if someone does not believe He is waiting with open arms for the worst of sinners to repent and come back to Him and not waiting to shame us or display our sins publicly - it's easy to reject God.  If the belief system is wrong, and who we think God to be or what we think His tyrant qualities are opposite of the actual truth - then friends, you have been blinded by the "Puppet Master" aka-Satan, and are missing out on blessings, truth, freedom, peace, forgiveness, redemption from all sin, salvation of your soul, power in your spirit, and miracles in your life, but most importantly eternal bliss in heaven.  Once you begin to believe - "everything is brighter, you'll see a picture of what you can be." (from the song "139" by David and Alena Moore.)

If people saw God for who He is and believed His character to be what it actually is, they would not waste a minute - but run to Him.  The wrong belief system we have adapted and lean on guides us to reject Him.  Even in the end of days when Satan is no longer in the picture for a thousand years, people will still exercise their judgment instead of believing God to be the One True and Just Judge.

Secondly, from a perspective of a believer in Jesus:  It is imperative to be in a close relationship with God and discern His voice; to hear Him and know Him and His character.   It is very possible to be a believer yet live a life as the world, not experiencing God's best. This also stems from wrong beliefs, particularly those I mentioned above for those who have rejected God. If You do not know yet or have not received that God is for you, and have not opened your heart to His overwhelming grace, you will be stuck in a very dull and frustrated Christian walk, full of demands and anxiety.  But if you have experienced His grace - which all have to my knowledge, and received this grace for yourself as an unearned gift that never expires, there may still be areas in your life in which you are truly doing things that you believe are for God, or what He wants of you, but the LORD wants something else.  

Getting to the point where you really - I mean really - want the LORD's will in your life, because it is the best, is where to begin again.  If I am willing to want His will above mine and honestly deal with the issue at hand even though I may not feel like it or want to, I will be at peace with what the LORD says and motivated to actually obey because I am sure it will be to my best interest. As my example with the Catholic Church prayers, I can assume many, many things about what God's will is, based on my experiences. But the LORD said not to lean on our own understanding. Doing so has robbed me of very intimate and powerful times in prayer and most likely much blessing and many miracles. 

In another example of my life - I love to go back to sleep in the mornings, then wake up and have a frazzled first few hours if not the rest of the day because I failed to organize my time. I even wake up and worship and do a devotional or read the Word, then go back to sleep thinking I did my "Christian duty." Well, when I realized the LORD was not after what I did, but my heart, and really meant it, I began to wonder what I was accomplishing by allowing myself the indulgence of extra sleep. It's like this with alcohol, sweets, television - we view these things as prizes for being good, or rewards and rights for being adults. I have even viewed sleep as comfort, peace, easiness, satisfaction, and a safe refuge in a time of desperate need - like in the mornings when I need motivation and energy to begin the day.  All these things are what the LORD promised to me, yet I have been turning to other gods for the answer.  The best answer I had that I made up to make myself believe is that the LORD wanted me to experience peace and happiness and this was the way - by sleeping when I wanted to.  If I know it's not from God, but a lie from the enemy and a ploy to keep me from living in victory - it becomes a whole new ballgame and I begin to fight the enemy because I am done with allowing him any more wins.  It gets personal, and that's what the LORD wanted me to experience. How He fights for my freedom and how very personal He gets to help me win EVERY battle in my life and live in overcoming victory with joy!

Obedience

I love this one! I never thought to link Philippians 2:3-4 with hearing the voice of His Spirit and obedience though. The verse is familiar to me, because we had to memorize it during a bible study years ago, but it comes up in my mind often.  Not in a way that demeans who I am, but in a way to keep me humble and focus on others instead. I just noticed that the second part of this verse talks about looking for the interests of others and how by esteeming others as better than ourselves helps us look at them with the eyes of God and also makes it easier for us to obey His promptings and His voice to help.  I mean if your favorite movie star or pastor or singer or politician were in need - by esteeming him higher than yourself, you would drop all and run for the chance to help someone you highly esteemed. Now if you saw the person before you now as important as that, as influential, wealthier, better looking and as higher than you - you would not waste a moment to help out. So let's put on the clear lenses of God and use the 20-20 vision of the Kingdom of Heaven and see those in our homes, neighborhoods and friendship circles as royalty. (and no need for comparison because we already know our true identity - we are royalty too).

My favorite times in life are those when the amazing unexpected happens and I get surprised in wonderful ways that I walk on clouds for days following.  Some of those times are when the kiddos want attention and are quite honestly sounding like broken records, but I step out and obey His voice and we end up playing Barbies, house, build train tracks or try to get to the next level in Mario Bros. I love the moments I step out and get dressed when I don't feel like it, pack a lunch and go off to the park and walk, ride bikes or play tennis. Good times. It's always hard to obey at first because I trust my feelings initially and want to "feel" good - which usually means I lay around and do little meaningful activity and in the end feel bad about it. So don't trust your feelings. "Nothing more than feelings..."
When I step out of my comfort zone is when I begin to see possibilities for freedom. I see things I wouldn't have earlier and the joy within gives me strength to go on.  It may take a lot of pushing and pulling, but in the end it is always worth the effort.

There were also times that I remember when I felt so embarrassed and uncomfortable to approach others, but when I did, I was the one blessed. For example stopping in the middle of the mall to pray for an elderly lady whom I found out suffered a death in the family recently. There was the time when I got out of my car in a Target parking lot and gathered shopping carts with the late night employees w ho looked at me crazy! But the simple "God bless you and have a nice night" was enough for one of the employees that night. There were gazillion times when I picked up trash and cleaned bathrooms in stores and churches, that I did not understand what for - other than I was doing my part in obeying and taking care of God's creation by being a good steward.

Now there were also plenty - plenty, of times when I simply disobeyed and mostly ignored the voice of God because I did not want to be bothered or I had other agendas or wants at that time.  I am sad to think about what all I missed out on and in just how many ways I could have been someone of meaning to a person or even a place.  There were a lot of good causes I failed to uphold, posted on Facebook but kept my mouth shut. There was a lot of missed opportunities with God in the mornings, a lot of missed opportunities to spend quality times with my kids. I can go on about the missed opps but I know God has graced me and I need to concentrate on the positive and the good things in life. If I lived - like I certainly have in the past - regretting all the things I messed up on, I would live a very sad, sad life.  But I press on to what lies ahead and pray I wont make the same mistake twice. Thank God, He gives us many second chances to experience the joy of obedience!  Let's practice the Philippians 4:8(and 9) principle: 

(8)Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.  (9)Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Pray

When in need - pray. When in doubt - pray. When others come to mind (especially those people you don't always associate with or have long forgotten) - pray. Just even a simple, "God your will be done in their lives right now, protect them, and comfort them," or a "LORD, bless them," will do.  His Word speaks. Pray what you hear Him say.  It's now wonder Paul says to pray without ceasing - since ALL day long we are bombarded with thoughts and accusations, reasons to doubt the blessings coming into our lives, and other people's situations and the way we have interacted with each other. All day long we have reasons to take our thoughts captive and pray. Seek the mind of Christ and the Father's will through Him. 

Billy Graham's still on the street @ Lifeway building in Nashville, TN

There have been many, many 911 prayers in my life. It began with God  help me not feel like this and I'll never drink again, and get me out of this bad part of town and I'll never do this again, etc. Then as I had kids, prayers began to focus on health, long life, and protection. When I started my own business, prayers went like this on a regular basis: LORD, prosper me and grow my business and I'll give away most of my money to churches and needy causes - I even had a list of how much I would give to each charity, church, and family member.  Then when Dan and I were fighting and he did something I didn't approve of, I prayed for a way out, to die, for him to die, for him to cheat on me so I can divorce him and not look bad, etc. I prayed for pain of addictions to go away, I prayed for peace and calmness in my life, and I prayed to have a new life. No matter how much I prayed, and how much I wanted some of these things to happen, something better and more meaningful always did. 

The LORD did bless our life with protection and health and I am thankful for that. He wrecked our marriage and built it back up on a stronger foundation than ever, with lasting results. He provided in the greatest of needs and we never have had to worry about having food or clothes (even when we had no money in the bank and no food in the pantry - He used others to provide and mysterious ways to make what we had last). He took away every addiction and then some, even the stuff I did not know had my heart - He removed it. He broke all curses and generational iniquities. He showed me the deepest parts of my soul, and then graced me.  He healed and restored all wounds, hurts, and relationships. He fought for me. He fought hard for my peace and freedom.  I am awaiting what He will do as far as business goes now, but the more meaningful stuff and the hardest to deal with He has already mended. He has brought me true freedom.

not like this ...

The most memorable prayers though have been the 911 prayers for others. Like when Gabriel fell off the trampoline on his head : LORD let this leave no lasting mark in his body and may nothing be hurt. He was fine right after the initial cry. LORD, I don't know why but I need to pray for a friend from bible study,( upon which I began and He stopped me and interceded allowing the Holy Spirit to pray for me) - to find out she ran out of gas in a bad part of town and would have been hurt. LORD, I don't want to pray for his healing now, I love this song, (as I wanted to worship at our church, the LORD made me sit during this time and pray for a brother-in-law of a friend who was in critical condition with some kind of a tumor on his brain), but okay - and he was healed from any trace of tumors that very hour in the hospital miles away. I've prayed for numerous kiddos I get e-mails about, and much healing I have witnessed as a result. I just wish that I turn to the LORD without it having to be a 911 dire need - but for every little thing no matter how small or simple or little in comparison to others. He wants to take care of it all. I just have to ask.