From the Book of Isaiah, ch. 61, the KJV lingo:
1The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;
2To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn;
3To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.
4And they shall build the old wastes, they shall raise up the former desolations, and they shall repair the waste cities, the desolations of many generations.
5And strangers shall stand and feed your flocks, and the sons of the alien shall be your plowmen and your vinedressers.
6But ye shall be named the Priests of the LORD: men shall call you the Ministers of our God: ye shall eat the riches of the Gentiles, and in their glory shall ye boast yourselves.
7For your shame ye shall have double; and for confusion they shall rejoice in their portion: therefore in their land they shall possess the double: everlasting joy shall be unto them.
8For I the LORD love judgment, I hate robbery for burnt offering; and I will direct their work in truth, and I will make an everlasting covenant with them.
9And their seed shall be known among the Gentiles, and their offspring among the people: all that see them shall acknowledge them, that they are the seed which the LORD hath blessed.
10I will greatly rejoice in the LORD, my soul shall be joyful in my God; for he hath clothed me with the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments, and as a bride adorneth herself with her jewels.
11For as the earth bringeth forth her bud, and as the garden causeth the things that are sown in it to spring forth; so the Lord GOD will cause righteousness and praise to spring forth before all the nations.
That about sums it up. I am believing that for this year. I believe I'm on the right track. I believe the wilderness experience has taught me more than I can ever share. I know I'm where I should be and positioned for the next season in my life. I pray after the first forty days of 2012 the wait is over. JERICHO!
And, what I keep thinking - I want to LIVE! I want out of this cage. The chains are gone indeed. The last of them I saw with my spiritual eyes fall before me. I sought after God one day and wanted answers of why my soul was downcast. The vision the LORD gave me of like a Colosseum type of building - ancient Greece or Rome I would guess. I was a servant, bound and chained with guards by me, trying my hardest to please the one I answered to. I fell over and over again, begged pathetically and made promises to do better, to not do this or the other and try harder. I was made up but messy, nothing like the fancy ladies walking on the balcony and around the perimeter of the building. I wanted to be like them and to live their life of luxury. I wanted to look like them and receive the blessings they surely had. I wanted to please the "master" and receive happiness in life. I have been trying for so long. He stood at the top of the balcony all dressed up in royal gear, fancier than the gladiators, muscular and tan, like a catalog model. I wanted so much to be a part of his world and be a part of his select few. But I did not know what I was asking for. I kept crying out to God to grant me this wish, and was mad at Him for withholding a blessed life from me. "Why?" I kept asking, "why not me?"
This day, the LORD opened the eyes of my heart and I saw: I was bowing down to the wrong master. I could not have two, for I would hate one and love the other. I had a wrong perception of who the One I loved was. I was loving the enemy and wanting to be a part of his world. But my loving Gladiator would not allow it, and was trying to show me in so many ways, but I was blinded. I was a mere puppet to the master of puppets who was pulling my strings, twisting my mind and smashing my dreams. It was a loud yell I heard, a command of Someone in charge of this lying master, who has been tricking me to do his bidding for so long. He said "Enough!!!!" and the liar was exposed. No longer did I have scales over my eyes, and I saw him as an ugly and deformed tyrant, a monster with absolutely no love. He was a mean ruler, and his subjects were as ugly as he was. Their souls were black and dirty, and they lived to lie and turn me away from seeing the Truth. But, the Truth showed up, large and in charge.
At His word, the chains were broken, the enemies fled, and I remained laying there, much like I would think the adulterous woman laid in her shame after her accusers left, and Jesus drew a line in the sand. I was so cold on a stone floor, embarrassed in my short and ripped up dress, with makeup running down my face, and hurt. I was angry for falling for the wrong god. I was ashamed and bruised and beaten down. But, at the sound of His voice, I looked up and knew I was okay. It took a while to rebuke the enemies who kept trying to come back and derail me, but in the end, I was carried away by the Fighter. My Redeemer and Warrior, my Hope and Deliverer. He rescued me. He rescued me and showed me truth. He was faithful, even when I wasn't. He fought for me even when I was mesmerized by the superficial glam. He did it because I am worth it! I am so worth it to Him! He was not about to let me go! He was not about to allow blessings in my life that were the desires of my heart - not when I was worshiping and begging the one with the Spirit of Mammon.
My heart must be yielded fully to the One true God! When I was seeking to be satisfied, my prayers and needs were rooted in myself, I was imitating and living out for the angel who wanted to raise himself higher than God. He is constantly looking for people to persuade in the most cunning of ways that they are seeking blessings, faith, to do something big for God, to matter. All these seem legit desires at a glance, but they lack one thing - the Kingdom of God and HIS righteousness which we must seek first. I was devil-minded instead of Christ-minded, which is full of love, mercy, forgiveness and a heart to serve the world. I wanted good things, but underneath it all, I still wanted to be praised and exalted. I saw the truth this day. I saw the lie. I am still trying to stand in victory, stand strong. I have hopefully brushed off the last of shame and deceit, and 2012 will mark the beginning of a new life of "sweet victory" (Sponge Bob style)... Hope - don't disappoint me now!
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